February
hopeful wintering, small wins and citrus
Pre ramble
I wasn’t expecting that. That January, book marked for recuperation and gentle reflection. I had assured my brain cells a rest, pinky promised in fact, and they didn’t take it well when forced to make decisions and rush around as they had done second after second for always. You know when the cracks start running together until you are more of an essence of self than solid form. And you can maniacally laugh with friends and send those memes but in the end you are all heading that way and you will reach the edge. And then you need to stop and mend before you fall.
I share a smidge of this because I know so many people who feel similar and I think by communicating we can help each other. And it’s not because there isn’t greatness and gratitude and beauty everywhere, but because there’s so much of the other end to process. We see all the good and bad on the same rolling screens and cannot digest or accept the acute extremes between the two. Our brains are already struggling with what our eyeballs are taking in before we even begin to cope with work, family, general living.
We are all different and our brains solve problems, make patterns and react to our environment in wildly different ways. Our emotions are valid because we have them and that is why we need to be kinder to ourselves and others. Don’t judge or compare - it is pointless and harmful for everyone involved. These are just simple ideas but ones that have helped me loosely manage with overload this past month.
listening to any podcast by Matthew Syed on BBC Sounds. He explores the ideas that shape our lives with stories of seeing the world differently. It’s helped me to understand some of those niggling nuggets of unease that sit at the centre of my mind and bring relief in knowing others think them too.
Wholly embracing the abundance of citrus. It’s the sunshine for our insides during the months where that big ball in the sky isn’t warming us. I went to Bristol for the day with chum and tour guide extraordinaire Jenny Chandler with the soul intention of buying interesting seasonal fruit and veg and it made me extremely happy. It felt frivolous, so it seems doing the things that just make YOU happy are very essential. I also picked up a groovy suitcase for free. I carry my spices around in it…
Having a walk instead of doing the washing.
Drinking herbal tea. It’s the ritual of it, having to slow down a bit. I’ve really been aware of the enjoyment I get from drinking something warm. It has helped me focus on what my body really needs.
Not turning on Netflix after 10pm at night. To actively do the opposite of what your little dopamine bedraggled neurons urge you to do is really really hard! And I take it as a little win every time I manage it.
Seeing real live friends. I’ve found even on the lowest days, having a nonsense natter with a good friend has turned things around. Cancelling everything and zoning out feels like what we want to do but often the direct opposite is what we need. Get us out of our heads.
I say all this as a generally happy soul. And I know the balance will return, this too shall pass. I am lucky that the fug is not so thick that I can’t see the other side.
I’m writing this newsletter in the British Library. Along the lines of doing things that make you happy, I engineered a visit to my mate Jen for a writing day of sorts. She’s working on a book proposal, I’m patching together my book and we are both great at doing anything and everything apart from the really pressing things. I’m thinking of making it a monthly thing. Even though it seems mildly ridiculous that to give my brain the space to be creative and free I have to get on a train for two hours to a big noisy city! But sometimes I think the things that seem frivolous or over the top, are the ones we need to jump on and go for it.
Recipe
Hazel Catkin Cookies
These little winter seeds dried and ground in to flour, added a nutty twang and a pleasing sugary grit to these simple biscuits. Do some research before you attempt any foraging gubbins because nature is a wild and cheeky beast. I can recommend Robin at Eatweeds as a reliable and accessible fountain of knowledge.
I gathered 200g hazel catkins and dried in the oven overnight on GM1. I’d say they’d likely be dry in a few hours but I forgot about mine so they were a little well toasted. I then blitzed them in my processor to a coarse powder. I was left with 60g ‘flour’ so you see it’s a labour of love but part of the joy is the process of slowing down and doing something different for a bit of fun and wonderment.
100g plain flour
100g malted wheat flour from Hodmedod’s - this brings a rich base note of flavour to the biscuits so it is completely worth it but if you don’t have it to hand then use spelt or wholemeal.
1 tbsp catkin flour
70g brown sugar
1 tsp mixed spiced
pinch o salt and pinch o pepper
100g butter
25ml olive oil
1 egg, beaten
Blitz it all in your food processor to make a sticky crumbly mix then turn out in to a bowl and bring together with your hands in to a smooth ball.
On a plate, shuffle together 1 tbsp catkin flour, 1 tbsp brown sugar and 1/2 tsp ground cardamom.
Separate the cookie mix in to two, make in to a sausage shape and roll in the mix on the plate to cover the outside completely. Wrap tightly in cling film and chill in the freezer for at least 30 minutes or until you are ready to bake them. They will last in there for a good while aka until the remember they are in there up to perhaps 6 months.
Heat the oven to GM5 and line a tray with baking parchment. Slice your cookies in to 1cm rounds and bake for 20 minutes in the middle of the oven.
We enjoyed the whole box with a cup of coffee and an episode of Friends on a Friday night.
Places we can come together and you can eat my food
I’ve not organised a supper club for ages and I miss them. So I will most certainly be holding at least one of these in 2025. I’m hoping to travel to Northern Ireland for a special collaboration later in the year but it’s very much a whimsy so I’ll fill you in later…
Retreats
March 7 - 10 in the Lake District with Leam Yoga
Come emerge in to Spring up north with a variety of yoga practices for everyone, beautiful walks in nature, plenty of warming food and a stay in a castle. 1 room left!
May 11 - 17 In Sabina, Italy with The Wild Times
Come for spring sunshine in Lazio, 1 hour from Rome and my favourite retreat centre. You can expect a lot of laughing, some crying, plenty of fun as well as yoga, walking, swimming and pasta.
September 12 -17 Tuscany Food & Yoga with Pop Up Yoga Concepts
Come and stay in a newly renovated farmhouse near Lucca, for early autumn in an abundant place with amazing produce to cook with, vineyards and wooded hills to hike through and nourishing yoga and breath work with Mike - and a lot of laugher as well. An intimate retreat for just 8 people - 5 spaces left.
Other Events
Sunday 27 July Pottery Brunch Club with Jane Scott Ceramics in Corsham
Make cute little berry bowls with Jane and then receive a 3 course veggie feast cooked by me
7 places left…
There is plenty to look forward to. xxx
Lovely post Beth. x